How Some Folks Are Getting Around An Answering Machine

How Some Folks Are Getting Around An Answering Machine

Getting around an answering machine may not be hard to do for some folks, but it sure has my curiosity up! Here are some examples I’ve had pulled on me recently by seemingly intelligent people who want to thwart the whole idea of an answering machine:

After letting the message run through and the beep sound, instead of saying who they are, what they want, and leaving their phone number, they just say “Hello.” That’s all, just “Hello.” Now, if I am not home, they will get no reply. But if I am home and listening to them, am I supposed to say “Hello” in reply? If I do, then why am I using an answering machine in the first place? I thought the original purpose of an answering machine was to identify who is calling me, which is why I didn’t see fit to pay $7.50 a month extra for Caller ID ! If I do say “Hello” in return, then they will know that I am home, they will know a lot more than I do, as I don’t even know who I am talking to! Therefore, I don’t fall for this one!

Perhaps I should pretend to be the butler, asking “Who is calling?” I tried this with one lady, and the first thing she asked was “Is this Mr. Smith?” Now, why should I tell this information to some unknown person! She had not identified herself or what she wanted, yet she wanted me to identify myself! How stupid did she think I am? So, again, I asked “Who is calling?” She didn’t like this (I really didn’t give a sh*t), and she again asked if this is Mr. Smith! I told her that she had not properly identified herself, and she didn’t like this, either! She really had her nerve! Why should I tell some unidentified person whether or not I was Mr. Smith or the butler?

Instead of telling me who she was, she gave me some phony name, like Mrs. Jones, with U.C.B., then she IMMEDIATELY asked if this was Mr. Smith again! I didn’t say if this was Mr. Smith or the butler, but I asked what U.C.B. was! She didn’t like this, either. She did tell me that it stood for United Credit Bureau or some such, then she immediately asked if this was Purston Smith! This really got me, and I told her so: that she couldn’t even pronounce the name correctly! Again, she asked if this was Mr. Smith! By now, I was questioning my own sanity, for even saying “Hello” back at the start of this nightmare, and vowing that I would never do it again! Then I unloaded on her: I told her that she called here and tried to get around the purpose of the answering machine, that she never properly identified herself until I made her do so, that she CONTINUED to ask if this was Mr. Smith, even though I CONTINUED to make a point not to tell her if it was Mr. Smith or the butler, and that I didn’t appreciate her way of going about making her telephone calls. At this point, she became frustrated and hung up!

Today, after the answering machine went through the recording and the beep, instead of telling their name, who they were with or what they wanted, and their phone number, another nice lady just said “Mr. Smith?” That’s all, just “Mr. Smith?” As if I was supposed to say “Yes, this is Mr. Smith.” Remembering the first conversation with “Mrs. Jones with U.C.B.,” I didn’t say anything, even though I knew that, when I picked up my extension to hear the reply message, it picked up some background music I was playing, and of course, the background music continued during the silence that followed the lady saying “Mr. Smith?” How dumb did this one think I am? Like the first one, she had not identified herself, who she was with, what she wanted, or anything else, yet she expected me to IMMEDIATELY identify myself, so we could start our little game again! If I had again played the butler and asked who was calling, then the nightmare would begin all over again! If these folks want to sell me something, this sure seems a dumb way to go about it! I realize they can’t sell anything to an answering machine, and I’m finding some of them who play a recording to my machine, telling some “important information” that I need to find out about (important to them, anyway, but not important to me). Some of these recordings even have the audacity to give me a toll-free number to call, to get this “important information!” How dumb do they think people are?

Another one has the audacity to say “Please hold for some important information!” This one must think that ALL people are stupid! I did hold once, just out of curiosity! While I was holding, I again questioned my sanity, wondering why I was holding for somebody I didn’t know, to get some “important information” I probably didn’t want, and wondering why they were taking up my time with all this foolishness! True to form, some fellow came on the line, asked if this was Mr. Smith, and went into some sales spiel about something I didn’t want! Jeez!

Now, of course, instead of holding for some important information, I just hang up! They will probably call back, and I’ll hang up again! Looks like those machines would learn! But, after all, they are just DUMB MACHINES!

I’m wondering what to expect next! If I’m taking a nap, taking a bath, eating, cooking, feeding my wienie dogs, or just about anything else, the phone invariably rings! And I’m wondering what new twist some human being has come up with, to try to get around the purpose of my having an answering machine in the first place. Again, I thought I put in the phone lines at my expense, I paid for the phones (rather than pay thousands over a period of years to rent\lease my phones), I paid for extra lengths of wire and extra jacks, I paid for cordless handsets, and I paid for answering machines, all FOR MY CONVENIENCE, or so I thought. These folks apparently think it is for THEIR convenience, as they call any time they please, whether it is day or night, and expect me to pick up the phone and say “Hello,” whether or not they identify themselves! I sure wouldn’t let some stranger inside my car or my house! I don’t even go to the door when the doorbell rings, even if my wienie dogs are barking their heads off, as I don’t know who it is (unless they called me to tell me they are coming over) or what they want. I thought the original purpose of having an answering machine was to find out who was calling, what they want, and how I can call them back, if I want to talk to them. These folks really expect a lot, don’t they?


Copyright 2011 by Preston Smith, Walker Enterprises/Silver Dollar Press. All Rights Reserved.

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